Republic of Shalampax
An Inane Island in an Insane World

Coat of Arms: Crest

Coat of Arms

The crest at the heart of our Coat of Arms is divided into four quadrants because, after careful study, we came to the conclusion that dividing it into any other number of quadrants would be semantically impossible. The prestigious upper-left quadrant contains a stop sign. This was placed there as a reminder of our overwhelming desire to keep outsiders away. We hope that this image will quickly come to mind if, for even the briefest of moments, you consider visiting us on your next vacation.

The yield sign in the upper-right quadrant of the crest represents the dominant sexual mores in Shalampax.

A fish was placed in the lower-left quadrant because fish are one of the only two local foods in Shalampax. The other is coconuts. We tried putting a coconut on the crest too, but reproduced at that size it looked more like a battered bowling ball than a coconut. We feared that this would be confusing as there are no bowlers or bowling alleys in Shalampax. Furthermore, some people suggested that, rather than a bowling ball, the coconut looked more like a testicle. Of course, that wasn't acceptiple because then women would have wanted one of their body parts represented and the whole thing would have gotten out of hand. There is, after all, only so much room on the crest, so we dropped the coconut.

The cyclone and thundercloud in the bottom-right quadrant depict the weather that we experience in Shalampax nine days out of ten. (See climate.)

Other coat of arms elements:

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© Copyright Klebanoff Associates, Inc. and Joel Klebanoff, 2007-2012. All rights reserved.
Shalampax and Shalampaxian are trademarks of Klebanoff Associates, Inc.