Republic of Shalampax
An Inane Island in an Insane World
 

Fashion

Fashion designers don't have much to work with in Shalampax. Fire regulations (see architecture) strictly limit them to the use of fireproof fabrics. Flammable dyes are verboten.

As if that weren't constrictive enough, designs have to take into account dreary Shalampaxian tastes. The truth is, we don't give a damn about what we wear as long as it's as cheap and comfortable as possible. Because our designers have not yet found any soft or supple fireproof fabrics, using the phrase "as comfortable as possible" when discussing our clothes normally leads to loud and long guffaws on the part of the speaker and the listener. Consequently, there is a lot of private and public nudity in Shalampax. We once tried to enact a law prohibiting public nudity, but it was struck down as contravening the Geneva Convention limitations on cruel and inhuman punishment.

The fashion indifference of Shalampaxians means that designers, who are no less lazy than the rest of us, typically do little more than ensure that clothes have appropriate sized and placed holes to accommodate heads, arms and legs. The colors used depend on which fireproof fabrics carry the deepest discounts at the time. Consequently, Shalampaxians usually wear clothes made of cloths with colors and patterns that no one else in the world would be caught dead in. But, just to repeat, we really don't give a damn.


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Shalampax and Shalampaxian are trademarks of Klebanoff Associates, Inc.