Republic of Shalampax
An Inane Island in an Insane World
 

Interim Vocabulary

After Marie left Shalampax (see history), but before we got our first English dictionary, we found that Marie had neglected to teach us a number of words. Consequently, we had to fill in the gaps by, incorrectly as we later learned, using some words and phrases that we thought were synonyms for concepts we wanted to express. The following table provides, in boldface, the English term followed by the equivalent word or phrase in the Shalampaxian interim vocabulary. Most Shalampaxians now use the correct English term because the alternatives were far too verbose, but this table will come in handy should you ever find yourself in a conversation with one of our old fogies.

Athlete
A less than 100% couch potato (We don't like to set high goals for our athletes. It hurts their self-esteem.)

Breeze
Non-event (see hurricane, climate)

Cleanliness
The impossible "ideal" state hypothesized by some exceptionally anal-retentive Shalampaxians

Cockroach
Unintentional pet

Cult
Niche religion with wealth generation potential

Dating (male version)
Social interaction with the expectation of sex

Dating (female version)
Social interaction with the expectation of sex (What can we say? We are all horny.)

Deceit
Gainful employment

Diligence
As if

Earnings
Proceeds of crime

Exercise
Self-inflicted torture for allegedly healthful purposes

Foreigner
Scam target

Generous
Frequently refrains from picking people's pockets

God
Fairytale protagonist (see Religion)

God, Oh
Orgasmic vocalization

Gruel
Haute cuisine

Honesty
Temporary insanity

Hurricane
Breeze (see climate)

Internet
Electronic scam-conduit (We anticipated the Internet even before it's invention and eagerly awaited its arrival.)
Limerick
Classical literature

Mail fraud
Outbound correspondence

Nymphomaniac
GoodTime had by all (Although it was subsequently used as a generic term, GoodTime was the name of a Shalampaxian woman who was much beloved by Shalampaxian men. She died young, but with a smile on her face.)

Politician
Scoundrel who picks the pockets of Shalampaxians (As opposed to a scoundrel who picks only the pockets of foreigners, which is more typical of the Shalampaxian character.)

Pornography
Art

Religion
Generally accepted fairytale

Religious holiday
Excuse to goof off (as if we need one)

Reputation, good
False front for the benefit of wealth generation

Quality
Job 993

Sex
Intense intramural activity

Slacker
Shalampaxian-like person

Sloth
Bliss

Snot
Forefinger moisturizer

Spam
Outbound electronic correspondence

Tax collector
Run! Hide! Run and hide now!

Work, hard
Wealth generation technique for idiots
History: Post-1952



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Shalampax and Shalampaxian are trademarks of Klebanoff Associates, Inc.