Republic of Shalampax
An Inane Island in an Insane World
 

Taxes

Shalampax is a tax-free haven. There are no sales taxes. There are no income taxes. There are no business taxes. There are no property taxes. There are no taxes. Period.

This is not terribly surprising. We are an exceptionally small island in both size and population. Hence, there is little need for major infrastructure and there is not much for the government to do. Besides, the members of our government and, even more so, our uncivil servants are far too lazy to do anything even if there was anything for them to do.

On those occasions when the government does need money, such as when they need to pay themselves or their uncivil servants, a member of the government is randomly selected. That person receives the temporary title of Funds Facilitator. The Funds Facilitator walks up and down the hallways of Shalampax's building. When he or she crosses paths with another Shalampaxian, the Funds Facilitator points to the ceiling and says in an excited voice, "will you look at that!" When the citizen looks up, the Funds Facilitator picks the citizen's pocket. It's a revolutionary approach to government funding, but it works for us.

You might think that, being such a remarkable tax haven, every rich person and business tycoon in the world would be clambering to move here. You would be almost right about that. Everyone who knows about us wants to move here to eliminate their tax bills, but we do our best to not let people know about us. We hate outsiders. In fact, our government's biggest expenditure is for buying large, strong sticks that they use to beat off the few outsider rich people and business tycoons who have heard about us.


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© Copyright Klebanoff Associates, Inc. and Joel Klebanoff, 2007-2012. All rights reserved.
Shalampax and Shalampaxian are trademarks of Klebanoff Associates, Inc.